and now, since we're not worried about looking capable, I think I need red lacquered shoes:
The key, I think, is to wear them with an otherwise completely prosaic outfit. They remind me of these ammmmmmmaaaaaaaaaazzzzzzzing Dr. Martens (which, despite their recent resurgence, I almost entirely despise) that were vividly colored in primary hues (plus green), everything in one bright color: sole in matching colored rubber, eyelets enameled, laces DTM. They were in some English store or other, on sale, and I didn't buy them. Never to be seen again. Wait, I've found an image:
They were called "Dr Martens Primary Pascal 8 Eye" and I still want a pair. But those more subtle reds depicted at the top of the post are just as good, and certainly more wearable. Found here, care of Todd Snyder.